Concrete

I was reading my blog and realized how abstract it really is. I could read this in a couple years and have no idea what was going on with my life other than the random thoughts that float inside of my head. So in order to strive for concreteness I want to break down thoughts and realities. Thought: Failing is part of the journey, its important to just sit with your failure sometimes, even sit with it over coffee and find out that it’s not a monster. It’s not as scary as you thought because it has the most unflinchingly gaze towards God, it looks to him for every success because it understands without Him, it will only ever be failure. I could learn a lot from failure. The reality: I bombed my speech in seminary. We did a pre-speech and that went great but 1. I struggle with saying the same thing twice, I felt like I had already given away the ending of my story. 2. I had almost no preparation once I decided I wanted to completely change my speech. It was disconcerting to realize how close a great sermon was from a terrible one. So my conclusion was to say no to some things, even things that I deeply enjoy, to give me more time and focus on what God could use to develop me into a better minister, and pray pray pray. It’s so easy for my own abilities to take over, the oh I got this feeling. Final point: It is my greatest strengths rather than my failures that present the biggest obstacles when I try to get closer to God.

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The Beauty

Can you feel it? Close your eyes after you read this next sentence. God is so incredible and beautiful and He stored up all His beauty and majesty in you, God is dwelling in you. In your fingers. In your heart. Even in your wiggling toes. You are a love story.  He is measuring your breathing right now. He is holding you. There will be a time when your journey may take you to valleys and heights that you can barely imagine. Always know you can come home. Always know you can come back to this place where your heart beat slows to the tempo of a love song. 

Come.

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Surprisingly Potent Postables

Ahhh. The title is from celebrity jeopardy with Will Ferrel as Alex Trebek. (Potent Potables) Life is just to short not to be creative.  Well my absolute favorite story is a true one and I have been trying to work it into one of my seminary presentations or sermons and thought wait I could just put it on my blog.  I have to admit I’m a little bothered when I hear a sermon with a great personal story and then a week later run into it word for word in a Christian book. I strive not to do that.

When I was at Baylor I was doing a pretty good job convincing myself that I didn’t have to be a minister. No one was on board with the idea (except God) and I was a freshman communications major who repeatedly told herself I must have been wrong about my calling. I went to my first fraternity party with a friend because her cousin was the Chapter’s president. That was also my last fraternity party. I somehow lost my friend and I was walking through a crowd of people looking for her when someone grabbed my backside. I was so shocked I turned around and said the only thing I could think of,     “I want to be a minister!”      I wish you could have seen the look on his face. Apparently this is not a common response. More importantly, God can speak louder and clearer when you’re not in control. Never underestimate the power of surprise.

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