The greatest lesson of my life…so far

A lot has been happening recently and life has had such a whirlwind quality to it that I wasn’t sure how to write about it. Until now that is. It has to do with a lesson God has demonstrated to me many many times and I am still surprised to recognize it in my current circumstances.

When I was in my last year of high school, I was chosen to be a camp counselor at a UMC camp. The whole process had God’s hands all over it. I applied after the entire team had already been chosen. An interview process that usually took 1 month was completed in two days and my spot was secure. Until, I backed up my brand new Jetta into my sister’s equally brand new car on the way to pick up a friend for church.  Suddenly I was in so much trouble and was presented with the solution of not going to camp and getting a real job to pay off the damage to both of our cars. I was so confused and all I could think of was how much I thought this was what God wanted and now it was disappearing right before my eyes. I did the only thing I could think of. I prayed through all my tears, God I thought this was You, I thought You wanted me to do this, but if it isn’t then show me what You want me to do next and I’ll do it. Going to camp doesn’t mean anything if it’s not where you want Me to be. That, at the time, and even now was a hard prayer to pray. I called the insurance for our cars and since they were on the same policy they covered all the damages. Even a thousand dollars worth. I went to camp that summer knowing without any doubt that I was right where God wanted me to be. And the lesson was this : When you are ready to give it all up, God gives it all back. And then some.

Fast forward to last year.  We were pregnant, had a contract on a house, Mike got a promotion at work. Then one by one everything started to fall. We lost the baby, we lost the house, Mike got switched to the sales department and we began to make plans for what would happen if he lost his job. And there was a point where I thought about whether or not God was abandoning us. What  I realized though was He didn’t, it was just a season of no, or not yet. But it was hard, really hard and I remembered that prayer I prayed after I wrecked my car into Stacey’s. My life felt like a wreck. But it was still His. And I would accept His answer no matter what. I would accept His will above mine. And He did it again, When you are ready to give it all up, God gives it all back. And then some.  Mike has what I would consider his dream job, but he would have never gone looking for it if his job didn’t turn into such a struggle. We’re nearing the closing of our house that is unlike anything we ever looked at or considered we could afford. Especially the house we were under contract for and didn’t get. And I have all the faith in the world that when it is His time we will have little tiny feet crawling around our house. This may be the greatest lesson of my life.

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